I know it can be a nightmare to dig through the tags and see all those asks and not the guides. So here is a handy-dandy list of all the “official” how-to posts.
FYI: This used to be a rude advice blog. It is not any longer. Some of the really old guides still use that format, but as they are updated with more information, they’re edited to fit the new, less abrasive format. For more info, please visit the about page.
All posts are written by Jez (@typesetjez, formerly called “The Responsible One”) unless otherwise noted.
Reblogging this for anyone who made a 2017 resolution to get their finances in order, move out, start taking care of themselves, or just generally grow the fuck up. Please share with your friends who might need some help with their goals this year!
Why are people still up in arms about AO3 needing donations to run? Their budget is publicly available. You can go onto the website, right now, and read it. If you donate more than a certain amount (pretty sure it’s more than $10), you can vote in their elections, because you’re considered a member, and that’s how memberships work.
It’s a free site to use, but not to run or to maintain, especially not with all these net neutrality battles.
Y’all gotta understand that it’s not just fanworks, there’s a lot more that goes into archiving.
Signal boosting this because it’s important af. OTW is a nonprofit organization, specifically a public charity as classified by the US tax code. That means they file a 990 tax report each year that lets you see all of their finances – what they’re spending money on, where their money comes from, etc. You can see their 2016 990 here if you’re so inclined.
And if you’re not sure about how OTW is using their donations? Ask questions. Get involved. Even if you’re not comfortable with or not in a position to donate, there are lots of opportunities to give your time; it’s an all-volunteer organization that recruits regularly. I know for a fact that I get more value out of what OTW provides than most, if not all, my other paid services combined, so $10 to be a member is more than worth it.
ao3 is routinely used as an example of an excellent digital archive in library and information schools – they’re not just a fansite; they’re held in high regard by people across the industry. they run initiatives to preserve old fansites and groups, in addition to the day to day work of hosting all of our work ad-free to ensure maximum creative freedom. ao3 is not just a place to post your fic; it catalogues and preserves our history and culture.
$130,000 a year though?
Cool.
So…Don’t donate and quit reading any fan fiction off their site if it bothers you so badly?
I don’t get it.
There are other sites out there but they mostly subsidize using ads.
Which particular part of the AO3 budget is it that you object to or would like to cut? Because honestly $130,000 a year is not a lot of money overall. It’s a pretty decent amount if you’re one person maybe, but overall? For an entire site? Not a lot. Not a business major or anything, but it’s not a lot.
And what are they asking for? Ten bucks?
Ten bucks is a fast food meal for two, or a half a movie. Not even a movie ticket. Like. It’s a month of Netflix if you’re cheap but own a television. Or two paperbacks if you buy secondhand but like hard copies. A single translated volume of manga. It’s a pound and a half of meat if you eat meat. Maybe three dozen eggs. Two big boxes of cereal…
It’s an amount you can lose out of your pocket and typically not find too crippling if you have steady work and a few bricks of ramen or a twenty pound bag of rice in the pantry for rough weeks, because a rough week here or there is an inevitability.
Ten bucks.
For a year of fan fiction.
If you feel like being nice and/or have the budget to do so.
For a site that literally has to lay out its budget plan so you can see where the funds are going.
For a site that you already use and enjoy.
…Why is this the hill some of you want to die on?
What am I missing here?
Do you people have any idea how much it costs to just host the fucking fanfic? How much server fees are? How much backup fees are? The amount of data that the OTW has to preserve through fire, flood, and computer failure? How expensive all that equipment is? The money is for buying massive amounts of server space in multiple redundant geographic locations, plus for paying the server companies’ employees to maintain the fucking things. As these things go, $130,000 is a laughably low cost for all that.
you don’t have to donate if you simply don’t got the money, but if you actively speak out against donating, i have news for you: you’re at best an idiot and at worst an asshole and in either case should not be allowed to read any more fanfiction from ao3. Go back to ff.net.
Look, I’ll be honest. I am not going back to FF.net. I am not archiving my stuff on this hellsite. And some of you are so used to getting stuff for free that you forget that things cost money.
Let me repeat that: THINGS COST MONEY.
AO3 provides a safe, stable, intuitive and organized location to post fic, read fic, and basically interact with other fans and writers. More than that, AO3 has been the only site I’ve EVER seen that exists to protect the rights of the writer. This is the first site I’ve ever known that is dedicated to this idea that I can share my writing without constant fear that one whiny letter from a IP owner or godamn religious front ‘purity campaign’ will cause them to A. delete everything I’ve posted and B. give up all my personal information.
Because FF.net will sell you out in a New York minute. LiveJournal folded like a wet newspaper in a typhoon. Tumblr would delete my blog in an instant if it meant pleasing the assholes who keep jamming jump scare horror movie ads onto my dashboard.
AO3 exists to provide safe harbor for fan works, and let me tell you, if they want to take my twenty dollars and light it on FIRE IN THE LOBBY, I am perfectly happy with allowing them to do so. And next year, I’ll give ‘em ANOTHER twenty dollars, because that’s webhosting for all of my trash fic for less than two dollars a month and if you think you can do better than that on the open market, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH.
Good luck. Hope you enjoy your auto play banner ads.
some writer snob somewhere: Do not start sentences with But or And because doing so is grammatically incorrect.
me, writing my fic: But I don’t care. And you can’t stop me.
To my beta’s profound dismay.
Okay, writeblr, I have a genuine question: I understand the logistics of why this makes sense. That being said, the last ten critically-acclaimed books I have read do this on the regular – and that is not an exaggeration.
Am I missing something? Is this one of those “rules” (emphasis on the air quotes) that everyone unanimously decides to ignore? If so, should I follow in the others’ examples or should I follow the rules? The rule follower in me wants to die every time I see someone do it…but it also feels right?
If anyone tells you not to start sentences with “but” or “and” in creative writing, they’re full of shit. If you’re writing an academic paper, sure, avoid starting with and or but because that makes them incomplete sentences (though I majored in English, did this regularly, and got great grades in my papers, so it depends on your major too).
But with creative writing, as long as it’s like… coherent, do whatever the fuck you want. You’re trying to establish a character’s voice, not win the Most Grammatically Correct award. People don’t talk or think in perfect English and neither should your characters.
If you see a rule that’s being picky about grammar rules like this, assume it’s meant to apply to academic/professional writing only. Applying it to your creative work will not only bring you pain and suffering but also make your narration and dialogue stiff and awkward.
Speaking as a fiction editor, being a petty little grammar pedant is rarely useful outside of academia. As a writer you want to create something that flows, that engages the reader. Not sound like you were stunned over the head with a copy of “Eats, Shoots & Leaves”, which by the way, is a terrible book. Don’t read that. The author is an elitist snob, and they might know how grammar works, but that’s the extent of their skill.
Basic grammar, yes. Good. Smashing.
But you can safely ignore anyone that tells you “said is dead”. Said is not dead, said is undead and wishes people would stop trying to replace it when it’s a perfectly good word to use.
My own novel is “diverse” filled with queer people of color, but you should never use “diversity” as a selling-point because then it doesnt feel authentic. It feels like its there just to hook people in and not because its an intrinsic part of the world or storytelling.
Everybody in my first novel is japanese, because its anime-inspired. Many of the chracters are queer or trans [or both] because I just like writing those kinds of characters. but when I have a trailer Im going to focus on the plot, on the lore, on the artwork [IF WE CAN EVER AFFORD IT C’: ], etc.
Because when you use diversity as a selling point it feels insincere.
Give them the plot. Give them the characters. Give them the world. Give them your WORK and let them discover the “diversity” for themselves.
ATLA didnt brag about how diverse the show was– it just gave you a show inspired by all kinds of asian and Inuit culture that featured people of color, disabled characters, and well-written female heroes as a natural part of the story.
I never once went “omg atla is so progressive its got a blind girl uwu”
i went “HOOOOLY SHIT, TOPH IS BADASS.”
And that’s what you want.
If people are only interested in your show because it meets a diversity checklist, then you’ve done a poor job as a writer. : And thats not me trying to trash it, thats just my honest opinion. If you’ve done a good job then you could have every single character be a trans woman of color without needing to go “WE’RE TRANS-INCLUSIVE!!” once; and all people will care about is how much they love their favorite characters.
Coraline is a masterfully made film, an amazing piece of art that i would never ever ever show to a child oh my god are you kidding me
Nothing wrong with a good dose of sheer terror at a young age
“It was a story, I learned when people began to read it, that children experienced as an adventure, but which gave adults nightmares. It’s the strangest book I’ve written”
This is a legit psychology phenomenon tho like there’s a stop motion version of Alice and Wonderland that adults find viscerally horrifying, but children think is nbd. It’s like in that ‘toy story’ period of development kids are all kind of high key convinced that their stuffed animals lead secret lives when they’re not looking and that they’re sleeping on top of a child-eating monster every night so they see a movie like Coraline and are just like “Ah, yes. A validation of my normal everyday worldview. Same thing happened to me last Tuesday night. I told mommy and she just smiled and nodded.”
Stephen King had this whole spiel i found really interesting about this phenomenon about how kids have like their own culture and their own literally a different way of viewing and interpreting the world with its own rules that’s like secret and removed from adult culture and that you just kinda forget ever existed as you grow up it’s apparently why he writes about kids so much
An open-ended puzzle often gives parents math anxiety while their kids just happily play with it, explore, and learn. I’ve seen it so many times in math circles. We warn folks about it.
Neil Gaiman also said that the difference in reactions stems from the fact in “Coraline” adults see a child in danger – while children see themselves facing danger and winning
i never saw so much push back from adults towards YA literature as when middle aged women started reading The Hunger Games. They were horrified that kids would be given such harsh stories, and I kept trying to point out the NECESSITY of confronting these hard issues in a safe fictional environment.
SAGAL: No. I mean, for example, your incredibly successful young adult novel “Coraline” is about a young girl in house in which there’s a hole in the wall that leads to a very mysterious and very evil world. So when you were a kid, is that what you imagined?
GAIMAN: When I was a kid, we actually lived in a house that had been divided in two at one point, which meant that one room in our house opened up onto a brick wall. And I was convinced all I had to do was just open it the right way and it wouldn’t be a brick wall. So I’d sidle over to the door and I’d pull it open.
(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Right.
GAIMAN: And it was always a brick wall.
SAGAL: Right.
GAIMAN: But it was one of those things that as I grew older, I carried it with me and I thought, I want to send somebody through that door. And when I came to write a story for my daughter Holly, at the time she was a 4 or 5-year-old girl. She’d come home from nursery. She’d seen me writing all day. So she’d come and climb on my lap and dictate stories to me. And it’d always be about small girls named Holly.
SAGAL: Right.
GAIMAN: Who would come home to normally find their mother had been kidnapped by a witch and replaced by evil people who wanted to kill her and she’d have to go off and escape. And I thought, great, what a fun kid.
It’s anxious adults who desperately want to “soften” stories. Kids prefer the real thing: with monsters, bloodthirsty ogres and evil murderous stepmothers; where the littlest brother always wins and all the villains are horrendously punished in the end. The world is threatening to the eyes of a child, so they need a fictional universe where the little people have a fair chance against the big and strong.
This isn’t specifically about stop motion but it is about how sad or scary parts of movies aren’t really all that bad- IE the 80′s movies, particularly Don Bluth’s films. (X- The Melancholy of Don Bluth, by Meg Shields )
How the children’s animation of the 80’s made room for sadness, and what that taught us.
There was a time when McDonalds used to give away VHS tapes with happy meals, and by some stroke of luck, one day my mom picked The Land Before Time. It
was the first film to etch itself onto me ‐ the way film tends to with
kids. I would recreate the plot with stuffed animals and parrot the
lines to whoever would listen; I pawed that VHS box until the cardboard
went soft.
A couple years ago, I saw that Land Before Time
was playing on t.v. and couldn’t remember the last time I’d watched it
all the way through. Within five minutes I was completely obliterated
and sobbing into a throw pillow. This is a shared experience for
children raised with Don Bluth: that as a kid, I could only clock a hazy sense that his films felt different
from Disney fare, but that the articulations of this difference, and
their ability to emotionally floor me, are something I’ve only become
aware of in retrospect.
There was a regime change in animation
during the 80’s. Quite literally in the form of Bluth’s official break
with Disney in ’79, but in a more elusive sense with the landscape of
what children’s animation during that decade felt like. For
whatever reason, be it Bluth’s departure or a diseased managerial ethos
in the wake of Walt’s passing, the 80’s were a mixed bag for Disney.
Don’t get me wrong, they’re amiable and charming films, but The Fox and the Hound and The Great Mouse Detective are not classics. And for all its ambition, The Black Cauldron cannot be redeemed on technical merit. Disney would eventually yank itself out of its slump in ’89 with The Little Mermaid ‐ but animation during the 80’s, along with the childhoods of a slew of millennials, were definitively shaped by Bluth.
That there is a dark tenor to Bluth’s work has been thoroughly, albeit perhaps vaguely, noted, often citing individual moments of terror (cc: Sharptooth, you dick). While I don’t doubt that frightening and disturbing scenes contribute to an overall sense of darkness in Bluth’s work, I’m unconvinced that they’re at the root of what distinguishes his darker tone. There is, I think, a holistic sadness to Bluth films; a pervasive, and fully integrated melancholy that permeates his earlier work.
These stories are full of crystalline moments of narrative sadness; specific story moments at which I inevitably mutter a “fuck you Don Bluth,” and try not to cry. There’s Littlefoot mistaking his own shadow for his dead mother; Fievel sobbing in the rain (a Bluth mainstay) convinced that his family has abandoned him; Mrs. Brisby shuddering helplessly after she and the Shrew temporarily disarm the plow. Other plot points are less tear-jerking so much as objectively miserable: the cruelty of the humans in The Secret of NIMH; An American Tail’s intelligent allegory for Russian Jewish pogroms and immigration; Carface getting Charlie B. Barkin drunk and murdering him at the pier.
You know — FOR KIDS!
Thematically, there is an ever-present air of death about Bluth’s work that is profoundly
sad. Bones litter certain set-pieces; illness and age are veritable
threats (shout out to Nicodemus’ gnarly skeleton hands); and characters
can and do bleed. Critically, Bluth films don’t gloss over
grief, they sit with it. From Littlefoot’s straight up depression
following the on-screen death of his mom, to Mrs. Brisby’s soft sorrow
at finding out the details of her husband’s death.
There is a space for
mourning in Bluth’s stories that feels extra-narrative, and
unpretentious. Critically, this is distinct from, say, wallowing.
Bluth’s films have a ridiculously productive attitude towards mourning,
most lucidly articulated through Land Before Time’s moral
mouthpiece Rooter: “you’ll always miss her, but she’ll always be with
you as long as you remember the things she taught you.” Disney
meanwhile, tends to treat death as a narrative flourish, or worse, a
footnote. And in comparison, even notable exceptions like Bambi and The Lion King seem immaturely timid to let palpable grief linger for longer than a scene, let alone throughout a film’s runtime.
Look at all the fun times they’re missing.
Musically, James Horner and Jerry Goldsmith’s impossibly beautiful scores are laced with a forlorn undercurrent. In particular, Horner’s tonal dissonance in The Land Before Time theme punches the Wagner-lover in me in the throat (admittedly, a good thing). Further to this, the first half of Goldsmith’s “Escape from N.I.M.H,” is reminiscently Tristan and Isolde-y. And while I’m here, I would also like to formally issue a “fuck you for making me cry in public” to American Tail’s “The Great Fire,” which when combined with visuals, is nothing short of devastating.
Speaking of visuals, backdrops of grim and vast indifference dot Bluth’s work; from the twisted Giger-esque caverns of the rats’ rosebush, to the urban rot of a thoroughly unglamorous New York and New Orleans. That these landscapes are in a state of decay is particularly dismal; there is a tangible barrenness, a lack of the warmth our characters are desperately hoping to find by their film’s end. These are depressed and morose spaces ‐ and that they are so seemingly unnavigable and foreboding makes them all the more compelling, and narratively resonant.
The way Bluth uses
color is also notable, with dark, earthy tones prevailing throughout
only to be blown out quite literally with the golden light
characteristic of Bluth’s hard-earned happy endings. Before Littlefoot
and friends reach The Great Valley, an event marked by gradually
illuminating god-rays, they must slug it out through the parched browns,
blues and pitch of their prehistoric hellscape. Like Charlie’s final
ascendance into heaven, Fievel must endure similarly muted shades until
he is finally (finally) reunited with his family and soaked in
glitter ‐ a level of Don Bluth conclusion-sparkles perhaps only rivaled
by the radiance of Mrs. Brisby’s amulet as she Jean Grey’s her homestead
to safety at the end of NIMH. Because Bluth leans into darker,
less saturated tones, these effervescent conclusions are all the more
impactful, which speaks in part to the methodology of Bluth’s
melancholy.
The plucky leads of Bluth’s early films are all
fighting for the same thing: family. From Mrs. Brisby’s persistence to
protect her children, to Charlie’s (eventually) selfless love for
Anne-Marie, these are characters in search of home. Invariably, each of
these characters gets their happy ending, but they have to go through
hell to get there, literally in Charlie’s case. In a recent interview,
critic Doug Walker asked Bluth if there was any truth to the rumor that
he thinks you can show children anything so long as there’s a happy
ending, to which Bluth replied:
“[If] you
don’t show the darkness, you don’t appreciate the light. If it weren’t
for December no one would appreciate May. It’s just important that you
see both sides of that. As far as a happy ending…when you walk out of
the theatre there’s [got to be] something that you have that you get to
take home. What did it teach me? Am I a better person for having
watched it?”
Melancholy isn’t just a narrative device
for Bluth, it’s a natural part of navigating life, of searching for
wholeness, and becoming a better person. Bluth acknowledges sadness in a
way that never diminishes or minimizes its existence; he invites
melancholy in, confesses its power, and lets it rest. Sadness is, for
Bluth, an essential characteristic of the world and living in it. That
is a wholly edifying message for kids, delivered in a vessel that is
both palatable and unpatronizing. For this reason, among innumerable
others, Bluth’s work has immense value as children’s entertainment…even
if it means crying into a throw pillow twenty years later.
When communicating to someone about a sensitive topic, I’ve found it’s helpful to explain why you want to talk about it. If you say you’re worried, or hurt, or just needed to get it off your chest, it can help the other person not get defensive and then more completely process what you’re saying.
Many relationships die by a thousand little cuts. Little problems that on their surface are penny-ante. But the real offense, the hurt, is unresolved. And the little hurts pile up and the resentment builds until things fall apart.
It’s very easy for people to read a bad intent when you’re communicating a problem. Sometimes it’s a natural defense mechanism, if you think someone is just being shitty then you don’t have to really hear them. But it can just as often simply be an incorrect assumption. Communicating your intent can stop that from happening and help the conversation come to a more fruitful resolution.
But if you break it down, your intent is not just a lubricant to keep the conversation productive. Your intent is the point of the conversation. More often than not the problems we have with each other are not the real issue, it’s how those problems make us feel. When you communicate your intent, you’re fully explaining the issue that needs to be resolved.
“I’ve been missing you, could you skip your TV show tonight so we can play a video game together?” works better than “You don’t give me enough attention.” or “you watch too much TV.”
Or “I suspect it’s just my anxiety, but I’m worried that you’re angry with me because you’ve been kind of quiet.” is better than just “Why are you so distant?”
For years I worried that we couldn’t discuss problems because it would cause a fight. That was how the world I lived in as a kid worked. Having a partner who is open to hearing you is huge, but choice of wording helps even when you have a partner who wants to hear you.
very good advice. it really helps when you give the other person something actionable. a request, a suggestion, an offer to brainstorm. don’t complain; troubleshoot.
you don’t have to be emotionless or conciliatory. it’s ok to express anger. just be mature about it, and respect the other person. don’t go on a power trip, don’t leverage your legitimate gripes to make them grovel. keep your eyes on the prize. if you don’t know what the prize is, the next step is to tell them so and invite them to help you figure it out, not to moan until they miraculously do the right thing at random. even when you’re super upset you can still apply these skills.
wrong: “this place is a damn landfill because nobody but me does any housework!”
right: “there is some serious housekeeping fail going on around here. it’s kinda driving me bugfuck. i want to sit down and take a look at how we do the housework, because how we’re doing it right now sucks.”
see how the second one doesn’t blame? blame’s not important. responsibility is important, but that has to be worked out calmly or it’s not going to be functional. the first person is picking a fight; the second person is trying to solve a problem. you’ll notice they’re not smoothing ruffled feathers or acting apologetic, they’re clearly quite annoyed. but they’re aiming their anger at the situation, not the person.
even if they are angry with their housemate, working those feelings out is beyond the scope of the conversation. trying to combine venting with chore planning is, imo, the number one cause of screaming kitchen fights on planet earth.
grocery stores with free samples, bakeries + stores with day-old bread
different fast food outlets have cheaper food and will generally let you hang out for a while.
some dollar stores carry food like cans of beans or fruit
SHELTER
Sleeping at beaches during the day is a good way to avoid suspicion and harassment
sleep with your bag strapped to you, so someone can’t steal it
Some churches offer short term residence
Find your nearest homeless shelter
Look for places that are open to the public
A large dumpster near a wall can often be moved so that flipping up the lids creates an angled shelter to stay dry
HYGIENE
A membership to the YMCA is usually only 10$, which has a shower, and sometimes laundry machines and lockers.
Public libraries have bathrooms you can use
Dollar stores carry low-end soaps and deodorant etc.
Wet wipes are all purpose and a life saver
Local beaches, go for a quick swim
Some truck stops have showers you can pay for
Staying clean is the best way to prevent disease, and potentially get a job to get back on your feet
Pack 7 pairs of socks/undies, 2 outfits, and one hooded rain jacket
OTHER
first aid kit
sunscreen
a travel alarm clock or watch
mylar emergency blanket
a backpack is a must
downgrade your cellphone to a pay as you go with top-up cards
sleeping bag
travel kit of toothbrush, hair brush/comb, mirror
swiss army knife
can opener
Reblog to literally save a life
if there is a Dollar Tree near you, they have entire food aisles
Planet Fitness also has $10 memberships. you can shower and they have free food days! pizza night 1st monday every month, bagel tuesday the 2nd tuesday every month.
Save a life reblog
i am so glad that i renblogged this however so long ago. i saw this post and shared it with others in mind, but now i am the one who really needs this. id like to think of this as good karma i guess
also a good list if anyone ever needs to run away from home for whatever reason.