Relationships get so bananas when you start deciphering the other person’s love language.
Like I thought I was just acquaintances with this person because they never told me details about themselves and we just talked movies and writing . But then they made time to have coffee with me and they showed up out of breath because they ran. Like. RAN to be on time for coffee with me?
And I was like “i don’t mind waiting” cause I never want to run
But they said they wanted every minute they could get because I’m so busy usually
Which is when it clicked that I didn’t get how much they considered me a friend because I just straight away didn’t see MY signs of affection in them and went “cool! Casual buds it is.” But now that I’m seeing their signs of affection, I feel a little silly for dismissing them like that even though I felt like we could be best bros.
Anyway, some people show affection through time or intensity or commitment and not vocally. I really have to remember that!
My new meds make my skin throw a fit. It’s not terribly bad, just a few things here and there, but it’s bumming me out because I’ve never really had too many run-ins with acne.
My four-year-old sister, however, is under the impression that it’s just “3D freckles”, and that they look very, very pretty. She wants all of my freckles to “pop out”, especially the ones across my nose; they’re her favourite.
And it puts me in this weird position where I can’t say, “No, this is acne, and it’s bad,” because I don’t want to teach her that it’s a bad to have unclear skin, you know?
Because the more I think about interactions I have with children, the more I realise that children will consistently compliment “flaws” until they’ve been taught not to.
Like, a kid at the library, whose sister has vitiligo, saw my scars once and suggested that his sister and I should be cats for Halloween, since I have “tabby skin” and she has “calico skin”. “I can be a black cat,” he immediately added. “It’s not AS cool, but they’re the spookiest.”
When I started losing weight, my little brother immediately demanded that I gain it back, because I wasn’t as comfortable to cuddle with anymore.
And my other little sister always wants to wear her paint-stained clothes to school so that “everyone can tell [she’s] an artist”.
I don’t know. I guess talking to little kids just reminds me that all of this superficial shit we worry about really is 100% made up.
“And remember: the sky is the limit! You can be anything you want to be!”
“Thank you. I want to be a secretary.”
That stopped them short. “What?”
“A secretary,” she repeated.
“But…” they trailed off, dumbfounded. “Why? You could be a CEO, a scientist, a law–”
“I don’t want to be a CEO,” she said. “I want to be a secretary.”
They scoffed. “You want to answer phones all day?”
She smiled. “Yes.”
“Schedule appointments?”
“I like organizing.”
“Be a second banana?”
An affirmative nod. “I’m skilled at helping.”
“I just don’t understand,” they said. “HOW could you be okay with all of this?!”
“I enjoy the work.”
“BUT YOU CAN BE WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BE!”
“I know.”
“Then WHY?!”
She shrugged.
“Because I want to be a secretary.”
Honestly though, this is very similar to my mom’s experience. She’s always been super bright, but has realized as she’s gotten older that intellectual pursuits just aren’t her jam. She dropped out of her PhD program to have kids, and although she has her master’s and was a pretty good school psychologist, she hated having to make huge decisions. She’s a church secretary now and loves it, and she’s GOOD at it; she’s letting her school psych certification permanently expire this year with zero regrets. If you can be anything you want, that includes the things we don’t tend to value as highly as a society. Not everybody is built for or wants the “respectable” careers.
My grandma did this to me, saying that i didn’t want to get stuck on the outside, making coffee and filing papers. The thing is, that’s exactly what I’ve always enjoyed the most, making and organizing things. That would be enough for me.
Nobody seems to realize that if you tell people they can be anything they want to be they will. And not everyone WANTS to be doctors or lawyers or CEOs or scientists. Sometimes, they just want to be a secretary.
it took me a LOT of therapy before i was able to shrug off the effects of the Gifted Child Upbringing enough to realize that what i really wanted to be was a house husband and Local Queerdad who writes novels sometimes. god, i’m so much happier now.
ain’t nothing wrong with an ordinary life. don’t let anybody tell you you have to be the top dog to be worth anything.
If it weren’t for secretaries, we wouldn’t HAVE doctors or ceos. We need to learn to value all work.
Also don’t overlook @jumpingjacktrash’s point, being a stay-at-home parent/spouse is also TOTALLY VALID.
“You can be anything you want” means you can be ANYTHING. YOU. WANT.
You are not “wasting your talent” if you choose a job that is fulfilling for you and meets your needs (I mean sometimes you just need to pay the bills and that’s okay too).
Folks, if I’ve ever done something that upsets you, I’d much rather you come tell me about it than to quietly shun me.
If I don’t know what I’ve done wrong, how can I get better about it? And even if we end up disagreeing, as least I’ll know what upsets you, be able to apologize, and know not to do it to you again.
Educate yourselves on ALL the presidential candidates policies as well as how they plan to go about making these policies happen.
Don’t get all your information on tumblr because half the time it’s wrong, twisted or just plain made up. If you see something on tumblr that interests you or makes you upset about a certain candidates, do the research.
Don’t stick to a singular news source. A lot of times our favorite news sources can be bias, whether we realize it or not.
Don’t let anyone peer pressure you into liking/voting for a certain candidate. Make your own choice, don’t like your parents, roommates, followers, romances or friends make the decision for you.
Check what they really stand for. Look at their policies directly from their sites and analyze the information they give you. Watch interviews with the candidates from a variety of news channels.
Do the numbers. Do their tax plans add up? Does it actually pay for everything? Is it going to put the United States into even more debt? You have to critically analyze if they can actually do what they claim they can do and if it is truly best for all of Americans, not just a select few.
It’s okay to like someone that your peers/family/followers/political party don’t. If you believe they will truly do the best job for this great nation, then don’t let other people let you feel bad for liking them.
This election could build our country back up or tear it down even further than it is now. We, the youngest generation eligible to vote, have a huge impact on where this country will be headed, so get your information on all the possible choices.
Reblogging this because the midterms are just as important!
Realizing this says presidential candidates- but it applies to EVERY elections, referendum and proposals. Do YOUR job as a voter to make YOUR impact.
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