cyborgcaitlin:

simonalkenmayer:

drownedduck:

take-my-life-not-my-heart:

welcometocaritas:

harblkun:

krazykitsune:

leupagus:

jaaaaaaaaaackfrost:

frostlands:

jaaaaaaaaaackfrost:

but what if a vampire drank the blood of someone who was anemic like would they be seriously grossed out

“what the fuck is this”

“i have anemia”

“can you take something for that you should probably take something for that this shit is nasty to drink let alone have running through your body i’m setting up a doctor’s appointment for you”

“dude really you don’t have to just leave what the fu—”

“you disgust me here take these iron supplements”

“where did you even get th—”

“shut up and take your pills and dont forget your vitamin D”

“i’m going to check up on you weekly to make sure you’re taking them”

“that’s not necessary”

“maybe we should work on a dietary plan with foods rich in iron and other things for you”

“do you get this involved with all of your meals”

VAMPIREDUDE:
did u get the cookbook i orderd 4 u

ME:
Oh my god, first of all stop using text speak, you told me you were 278, second how did you know where I LIVED, third yes I got it.

VAMPIREDUDE:
heard onions were good 4 blood, eat lots

ME:
So you can have a tasty meal? I guess you’d rather I stay away from garlic, huh.

VAMPIREDUDE:
UR being v rude I just got u a present!!!

ME:
THE COOKBOOK IS CALLED “HOW TO TASTE DELICIOUS,” I AM CALLING THE COPS

#sounds like the begining of a beautiful friendship #gimme this sitcom

image

The Sun will go down eventually!

still a better love story than twilight

LOVE THIS

@simonalkenmayer @vampireapologist And probably @thebibliosphere too.

Finally someone distilled truth from mythology. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to suggest supplements and doctors visits just from smelling people.

I would 10000% watch/read this.

chibiroboofficial:

darkestelemental616:

borealaries:

theresoneofyou:

princezane:

latessitrice:

absinthenoir:

fuckrealityihaveablog:

I want a story about an Italian vampire.

No romance, no action.

Just 200 pages of “What do you mean, I can’t have garlic? Do you know where I’m from?”

TBH I think the main issue would be the mirror thing

have you ever met an Italian man

the amount of time they spend looking in the mirror jfc

#the more you think about it the more all vampire rules are just anti-italian rules#can’t go out in sunlight?? IN ITALY???#Can’t go near crucifixes? IN ITALY???

a bunch of pissed off vampires stuck in Venice because they can’t go over moving water

Not to victim blame, but you’d have to be a pretty bad Italian to even get turned into a vampire in the first place.

the only two places practically immune to vampires are texas and italy

Let me tell you of A Thing.

Lithuania has no vampires, I guarantee it.