Simon contemplates on the important things like the consciousness of artifical intelligence, what it means to be human, and most importantly… his new cyborg arms
Me: “That episode of Star Trek where everyone suddenly devolves into an early ancestor species. Is it weirder that Barclay the human turned into a giant spider, or that Spot the domestic cat turned into an iguana while giving birth? And anyway, why wasn’t Spot spayed?”
I imagine Data didn’t bother fixing spot because as far as we could tell she was the only cat on the ship. Why bother spaying if there literally no male cats on board?
I just rewatched this episode the other day and there were apparently 12 male cats aboard the ship, which he knew about. Spot escaped his quarters several times.
Theory 1: Data didn’t do his research and failed to realize that cats are extremely good at getting pregnant. Unthinkable. He could have downloaded an entire library’s worth of books on cat care directly into his brain.
Theory 2: He knew that Spot was likely to get pregnant, but didn’t want to cause her pain with invasive surgery. Understandable, but I would think that futuristic space science spaying procedures would probably be painless, easy, and instant. I imagine he’d be able to do it himself.
Theory 3: He knew the chances of Spot getting pregnant were high and had access to easy spaying, but he just really wanted to witness the miracle of life and see kittens.
Theory 4: Data wanted Lots of Cats and grumpy dad Picard said no, so he thought he could acquire more cats through inaction without technically breaking any rules. “oh no dad these cats just happened I didn’t ask for them hmmmm guess I’m stuck with them now no oh nooo”
Theory 5: Spot is an alien cat and nobody thought she could hybridize with an Earth species in the first place. This is why she’s apparently descended from iguanas.
Seeing as in this episode Data brings the pregnant cat into sickbay and refers to himself as an expectant parent, I’m gonna go with theory 3: Data really wants kittens.
We’ve seen this kind of fascination with the miracle of life from him before. See: The episode where Troi gives birth and he’s absolutely thrilled to be the one holding her hand while it’s happening (The Child), and the episode where he builds a robot daughter and acts all confused when Picard disapproves because no one else on board has to ask permission before procreating. (The Offspring)
In conclusion: Let Data have all the kittens he wants.
DATA: “Captain. Permission to acquire another cat.” PICARD: “What?! Denied!” DATA: “May I ask why, sir?” PICARD: “One cat is more than enough! There have now been multiple episodes in which ‘Spot is awful’ has been a major plot point. I will not stand by and see my crew further maimed by your ill-tempered and inexplicably dangerous cat.” DATA: “I anticipated that this would be your response. I must inform you that Spot has become pregnant.” PICARD: “What?! How?” DATA: “She escaped from my quarters, sir. There was nothing I could do.” PICARD: “You can bend steel bars with your bare hands. Are you telling me that you were overpowered by a housecat?” DATA: “No, sir, she simply… slipped away while she was in heat. Perhaps I forgot to shut the door.” PICARD: “You don’t forg… Commander. What is this really about? Why didn’t you get her spayed?” DATA: “….the miracle of life? Although I have observed gestation and birth before, that was a really uncomfortable episode and we do not like to talk about it. I welcome the opportunity to witness a relatively normal mammalian pregnancy.” PICARD: “Data, it’s the twenty-fourth century. There are six billion exabytes worth of cat videos available to watch.” DATA: “Captain, I have never played with a real kitten before. Perhaps… it will help me on my quest to become more human….” PICARD: “…………Well. I see. I can’t say no to those bloodshot yellow puppy-dog eyes of yours. Carry on, then. You are dismissed.”
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