Tag: funny

orangeyjuicy:

jasmancer:

jasmancer:

Steve Rogers uses voice to text to send texts and formats them like a telegram

HEY BUCK STOP SAM AND I ARE OUT SHOPPING STOP WANT US TO PICK UP SOME TAKEOUT STOP

Steve rogers fully understands that this is not the correct way to text. He just likes the absolute outrage it causes every time someone receives a text from him and wants to see how many times he can make the same people explain texting to him until they realize. Sam is currently at 14 times, beating out tony who’s at nine. Twice now shuri has facetimed him after reading bucky’s texts. He’s also managed to convince thor that this is the Earth Way to text and it’s great

systlin:

jumpingjacktrash:

cicutadouglasii:

jumpingjacktrash:

roachpatrol:

cicutadouglasii:

cicutadouglasii:

yknow the more jk rowlings world falls apart in america (race relations, international history, population, etc) the more i like to think that america just straight up doesnt have the statute of secrecy. european countries are falling over themselves hiding magic but come to georgia and theres a drunk redneck wizard wingardium leviosa-ing the shit out of a tractor to the delight of his drunk redneck muggle buddies in a walmart parking lot.

wizard on muggle violence is prevented by virtue of there being like a 50/50 chance that muggle is packing heat. muggle on wizard violence is prevented by knowing that wizard can give you boils spelling LIL BITCH on your forehead if you try to start something.

america is the weird redheaded stepchild of the magic world.

im not gonna stop reblogging this until this is the next Hot Fanon

english muggles come back to england and suspicious wizards meet them at the airport. 

‘did you witness any strange or inexplicable acts while you were in america?’ they demand. 

the english muggles just laugh in their dumb fucking faces. mate, it’s america. 

what’s the difference between a werewolf and an animagus?

english wizard: *two hour lecture on legal history*

american wizard: six beers

@jumpingjacktrash congrats ive read hundreds of comments on this dumpster fire of a headcanon and yours is the best

thank you my patronus is a monster truck

I have reblogged this I don’t even fucking know how many times but I still completely lose it every time I see the words “My Patronus is a monster truck” because that is the most AMERICAN thing I’ve ever seen in 29 years of being ‘merican.