[heart and heart are two different words in japanese though. one is shinzou (physical heart) and the other is kokoro (metaphysical heart). so it doesn’t work as well in english, but basically japanese terra was like “wait do you actually want me to literally cut out her physical heart and put it in this box you batshit lady, or do you just mean the metaphysical heart like the one i already think i stole? i’m not understanding the value of that first one tbh?? this is an important distinction ma’am.”
edit: actually from thinking it through it’s better in english since that distinction doesn’t exist in english vocabulary, so…it makes sense for terra to be confused here.]
and tbh if I’d been sheltered my whole life and some creepy chick was like “let me bribe you with information to MURDER THIS GIRL I HATE HERE RIP OUT HER HEART AND PUT IT IN THIS BOX BYE” I’m pretty sure I’d be going “uh what” too
also is no one going to talk about Terra’s Boss Points in the way he immediately decided to deceive this crazy woman and use her for his own benefit or
I sincerely believe that by 7th year Ravenclaws would just tell the door to their common room to fuck off and it would open for them
Q “Why is a raven like a writing desk?” A “You shouldn’t shove either up your arse.” “…Technically, yes.”
Imagine it, a poor First Year is waiting outside the common room, they can’t answer the riddle in a way to appease the eagle and must wait until someone else to answer it for them. It’s getting late, they’re starting to resign themselves to having to spend the night here.
Suddenly, their saviour comes! It’s a seventh year! Back from a night finishing off their Araithmancy essay in the Library. They look angry, but our poor little first year squares their shoulders, waiting to see what will happen, and hope that they’ll keep the door open for them.
The Seventh Year bangs the handle against the wall, and a slightly disgruntled voice asks the question again: “What is the truth?”
The Student Replies, “The Truth is that I am so fucking sick of all these mother fucking questions about stupid fucking topics like this you bloody fuck-witted bastard. Who in the name of Merlin’s saggy left testicle gives a fucking damn about all this shit anyway? I’ve been working my arse off in the library for the last seven hours now let me the fuck in or, truthfully, I’ll blast my way in and take you with me.”
The eagle knocker tutts, but allows the student entry anyway, and our little first year enters, eyes wide and in shock. They watch the seventh year go up to their bedroom, awe all over their face at their new hero. They did, indeed, learn something that day by waiting for someone to arrive, they learnt that swearing has a magic all of it’s fucking own, and that sometimes it is big and clever to use it.
The only head canon I will ever accept. Its both perfectly witty and fantastically assholish
witty and fantastically assholish… pretty much quintessential ravenclaw traits right there
My favorite version of this headcanon is that there is one Ravenclaw who went all seven years by answering the riddles with some variation of “not a potato” and was only ever wrong once.
i will never be over vernon dursley telling people at his wedding that james potter was some kind of amateur magician, implying that he wasn’t even that good
100% believe that if petunia hadn’t cut lily out of her life, james would have just rolled with it and learned muggle magic tricks and performed them at various family functions, like
try to wear the full magician costume to dudleys christening
“you can’t wear that james” “it’s the only way i’m going, lil” “fine but give me your wand” “my real one, or the fake one that shoots out flowers?” “both, and you’d better tidy the handkerchiefs are trailing out of your trouser leg before we leave”
“I’m not a magician, marge, i’m an illusionist.”
petunia walks in on james pretending to saw toddler dudley in half for toddle harry’s amusement
actually incorporating magic into the tricks and freaking the hell out of vernon’s extended family
standing up at christmas and saying that he’d like to perform a magic trick. and vernon and petunia are HORRIFIED and lily just pours more wine but marge says ‘let him do it’ so she can mock him?? and he tries/fails to ‘vanish’ the napkins 3-4 times and it doesn’t work, until the fourth time when it DOES and it freaks the hell out of vernon’s extended family
and that is probably when petunia cuts lily out of her life for Real
guys this is a very important post and i’ve been thinking about it all morning
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