You know I bet the reason found family stories are so popular with aros is because we all subconsciously want to vicariously live out the fantasy of having a group of people who are committed to supporting and spending time with us
Bitch get some friends
Bitch you volunteering?
To clarify further: This post isn’t about not having friends. This is about the fact that there’s a certain level of commitment and intimacy that, in our society, people rarely apply to friendships. There’s a reason the trope is called found family and not found friends.
A friend might be a classmate you get along well with, or someone you met at an event who has the same favorite TV show as you, or your buddy you swap memes with, or the guys in your anime club. And that’s nice and all, but the relationship doesn’t often go much deeper than that.
Potentially living together, sharing your deepest thoughts and insecurities, supporting each other closely when you’re sick or hurting, sticking together no matter what even if someone changes interests or stops attending an event… Those are things that people generally reserve only for romantic partners, or in some cases immediate family members. Friendships only very rarely get these kinds of relationships, and for aromantics, that can be really damaging.
Yes, believe it or not, I have friends. A lot of aros do. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t lonely, or don’t feel like we’re missing something in our lives, because it’s absolutely not just a simple matter of “make some friends lol”. Found family stories represent an idealized life that many of us may never get to have, and it’s pretty rude and dismissive to make fun of that.
It makes me so happy that I find stuff like this floating around now, however rare. I’m not used to actually seeing stuff on romance/relationships that’s relatable w/o it being pushed as a joke, and I’ve literally had my mind set on a found family dynamic for my life since I was like 12. It was poorly formulated in my head back then, and it makes me painfully introspective at times, but now I’m finding words for it. So thanks~ 👏🏻
Sex is literally the most important thing in every relationship and if you take it away from your non-ace partner then you need to understand how abusive you are.
Even if they say they are completely fine with little to no sex then they are lying just to make you feel better. You. Are. Abusive.
Date another asexual person or die alone.
remember how Dan Savage in his advice/sex advice column would talk about aces “inflicting” themselves on “normally sexual” people and how this means aces (and any ppl who I guess don’t want sex or certain kinds of sex often enough) are getting a “perverse pleasure” out of “depriving” their “normal” partners of sex?
I thought years later at least in the parts of tumblr I hang around I’d not have to come across that shit, but apparently here we are
OP you’re horrible and I hope you stay away from aces and anyone else harmed by this sort of vile toxic crap you’re spouting holy fucking shit. You’re incredibly nasty and nothing you’re saying is true
“sex is the most important thing in every relationship”
I think OP should look at different relationships because uh… in most relationships communication and trust are bigger issues of importance than sex.
Platonic love is real love and shouldnt be treated like less becuase it isnt romantic. Defining love as only romantic is a terrible concept. You should be able to love people in a platonic way as much as romantic way and not be seen as less
The Greeks were so much wiser than us modern folk, when talking about love. They believed it existed in eight different forms:
1. Eros (erotic love). This is, simply put, the sexual attraction you feel towards someone. In its best form, passion can be transformative… but it can also become destructive if not kept under control.
2. Philos (friendship). This is the love we treat as lesser in the modern world. Ironically, the Greeks considered it superior to eros as philos was considered a love between two equals and free of the animalistic pull of sexual desire. Philos is the kind of love two warriors who’ve shared a foxhole feel for one another.
3. Storge (familial love). This is the love and pride we take in our kinsmen and lifelong friends. For those who are deeply attached to their family name, who remember family members who pass on with great fondness… This is the name the Greeks, a culture based very much on accruing honour to one’s name and descendants, bestowed on this form of love, as it was so very important to them.
4. Ludus (playful love). The affection between young lovers, this is what we modern folk call “puppy love.” The flirting, teasing and childlike euphoria at being in a new relationship is all part and parcel of this form of love. The Greeks felt that love should have a sense of fun and play; it need not be serious 100% of the time.
5. Mania (obsessive love). This is what happens when love gets scary, and is the purview of stalkers and the most deluded among us. The Greeks believed that this occurs when there’s an imbalance between the presence of ludus and eros in one’s psyche. Those who experience this form of love also become codependent, and may be perpetrators of abuse of their loved ones.
6. Pragma (enduring love). This is a mature form of love, having aged like fine wine with time. It’s commonly seen in couples who have been married for decades, and is something we all secretly yearn for – the companionship that looks beyond our limitations, yet loves us for our frail humanity. A love where we are accepted unconditionally and will never stray from us. It’s hard to find, and takes a lot of time and patience to cultivate.
7. Philautia (self-love). This is where having a “positive mental attitude” and engaging in self-care comes in. The Greeks understood that, in order to care for others, we must first tend to ourselves. This is not a sense of vanity, but an awareness and acceptance of who you really are, showing yourself compassion in darker times.
8. Agape (brotherhood). This is the greatest form of love there is, and the hardest to aspire to. It demands nothing less than feeling love for all human beings, compassion for all creatures, an acceptance and forgiveness of the flaws of humanity, and the desire to ease the pain of those who suffer. To see in the eyes of every human being your brother, your sister – when humanity, in your mind, becomes your extended family. It’s not about paying lip service to religions that preach compassion, it’s about showing love for others in every word and deed.
So, if you thought romantic love (eros) was all there is to knowing and feeling love? You thought wrong. Let’s learn to love love in all its forms.
Everyone accepts that professor Utonium made the powerpuff girls by accident when he spilled chemical X, but nobody questions why he was making little girls in the first place.
He wanted daughters and didnt want to have sex. Is that a big leap to make?
Professor U was the ace representation we never knew we had.
I honestly always find the term ‘spinster’ as referring to an elderly, never-married woman as funny because you know what?
Wool was a huge industry in Europe in the middle ages. It was hugely in demand, particularly broadcloth, and was a valuable trade good. A great deal of wool was owned by monasteries and landed gentry who owned the land.
And, well, the only way to spin wool into yarn to make broadcloth was by hand.
This was viewed as a feminine occupation, and below the dignity of the monks and male gentry that largely ran the trade.
So what did they do?
They hired women to spin it. And, turns out, this was a stable job that paid very well. Well enough that it was one of the few viable economic options considered ‘respectable’ outside of marriage for a woman. A spinster could earn quite a tidy salary for her art, and maintain full control over her own money, no husband required.
So, naturally, women who had little interest in marriage or men? Grabbed this opportunity with both hands and ran with it. Of course, most people didn’t get this, because All Women Want Is Husbands, Right?
So when people say ‘spinster’ as in ‘spinster aunt’, they are TRYING to conjure up an image of a little old lady who is lonely and bitter.
But what I HEAR are the smiles and laughter of a million women as they earned their own money in their own homes and controlled their own fortunes and lived life on their own terms, and damn what society expected of them.
I hope this a shit post cause that’s not even close to being true.
Please. I am very curious as to why you think I am incorrect.
I saw this spinster post and regretted not reblogging it, only to find this one that’s like ten times better with amazing sources and a hot’n’fresh moider for me ❤
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