Review of the book Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes by Cody O’Brien.

systlin:

between-stars-and-waves:

marzipanandminutiae:

snarkymonkeyprime:

talkingcinemalight:

my-abibliophobia:

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To sum up this book in a single sentence – “What would happen is Deadpool wrote a mythology book.”

Yeah, this guy-

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Wrote a book. Here are some examples of why I think this.

GREEK MYTHOLOGY 

The Greek creation myth.

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The story of Hephaestus god of Blacksmithing and Aphrodite Goddess of Love.

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The story of the Minotaur. 

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NORSE MYTHOLOGY

Norse creation myth.

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Odin orders Loki to steal Freyja’s necklace. He does. This is so in character for both of them Freyja instantly knows who to blame.  

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EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY

Ra gets mad at humanity and creates Sekhmet Lion Goddess of Killing Stuff. 

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How Isis retrieves her huband’s coffin from the support pillar it got stuck inside.

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MAYAN MYTHOLOGY

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How to try and kill the god Zipacna and fail. 

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CHRISTIANITY MYTHOLOGY

How God made Eve from Adam’s rib. 

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The story of how King Solomon judges proper maternal instinct. 

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HINDU MYTHOLOGY

Men ask Shiva to stop Kali’s murder rampage.

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And this is how he does it. 

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JAPANESE MYTHOLOGY

The Goddess Izanami gives birth to the whole island of Japan. 

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A story about Tanuki.

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AFRICAN MYTHOLOGY

Creation myth

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SUMERIAN MYTHOLOGY

Creation myth

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The Epic of Gilgamesh: Being born

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The Epic of Gilgamesh: Meeting his best friend.

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NATIVE AMERICAN MYTHOLOGY

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Do I really need to explain why I feel the Merc with a mouth was involved in the retelling here?

I have this book. I’ve read it about ten times and I love it.

@systlin

This guy has a whole website

It’s called Better Myths, and it is a GIFT

I need this book!

@infernoking @d20-darling @askkakuro @thefingerfuckingfemalefury @windows-operating-system

The norse myth thing is 1000000% in character.

libertarirynn:

rightsmarts:

ELON MUSK DESTROYS A SOCIALIST: “I support half a million families. What have you done?”

These people really think to be wealthy is to swim in a pool of gold coins like Scrooge McDuck. If a person is a wealthy business owner that means they have assets you moron. And a lot of those assets actively provide money to other people.

fantasticallytragical:

The relationship between Van Hohenheim and Trisha Elric is so important, guys. You know why?

Van Hohenheim has lived for hundreds of years. He’s seen thousands of people come and go, he’s probably never really allowed himself to fall in love, but he sees Trisha and is like, “YES. This is the one. She’s the one. “ 

What a nerd, right? I bet you my computer it was love at first sight. Also, Hohenheim probably though she was way out of his league and pined for a while. Which is adorable.

But, guys, he probably tells Trisha the whole story. About his body, about his past, about the Dwarf in the Flask, about Xerxes, about his mistakes, about the hundreds of innocents who died because of his mistakes. And she’s just like, ‘Nice, I still love you.’

He decided SHE was the woman he wanted to grow old with, the one he wanted to raise children with, the one he wanted to spend his life with. This young, small-town girl. 

They made a promise to die together…. But Trisha got sick. And Hohenheim didn’t know. He was probably on the other side of the country. He thought she was fine, taking care of their boys, that he would return to them soon, and be the father he never deserved. 

But Trisha dies. And he finally, finally returns home, but it’s so different. The love of his life is dead, his house his burnt to the ground, his little boys committed the taboo. Al’s an unfeeling suit of armor, Ed’s a child soldier. He blames himself. Maybe, if he had stayed, Trisha would be alive… Ed and Al would definitely have their bodies…

And when Ed tells Hohenheim Trisha’s last words… Hohenheim completely breaks down.

Hohenheim probably didn’t cry until this point. He’s seen hundreds of people die, and he’s loved all of them. But hearing his wife’s last words, his straight out SOBS. This isn’t the classic, single man-tear that most characters display. This is real sorrow: face-crumpling, sobs that tear themselves out of you, tears that burn… the kind of crying that hurts. 

A lot of sad things happen in Fullmetal Alchemist, and this is probably one of the saddest, right up there with both Nina’s and Hughes’ deaths….